<< Dreaming again. >>
2003-17-01, 4:40 a.m.

We are in New York. In a park with grass, dead, brown grass and empty trees. It is the winter in New York. We live here. It's our first day. The stars are out we can see our breath. We have no home to go to. We seek a bench. I lie on the bench. You on the ground, the others on a near hill. Three homeless women come to us. One of them is an old lady in a wheelchair. She isn't really creepled. She just likes to feel more helpless than what she really is. The old lady shouts at me. I have taken her bench. The other two yell with her. I look at you and you say, "Give em $10 each for us to stay the night." They take the money of course. There is a dim light above us, it looks like the moon but all it wants to be is a lamppost. I look at the stars. White feathers start drifting down. "Looks like snow, want to go inside?"

"No, we should do this for the experience."

"Okay."

I turn my back to the cold world. The snow slowly covers me. I wake up to a tap on my shoulder. It is bright outside, feels like summer. I turn around. It's one of the homeless trio that harrased us the night before. I recognize her. She looks like a friend from high school. "Heather?"

"How do you know my name?" she asks.

I hug her and she then recognizes me. "Brandi? I haven't seen you in a long time." We start to cry. She then take advantage and starts to move her hands down my torso. I pull back but she latches on. I finally break our connection. She looks at me as if she is a wild animal. Those evil eyes. I run away.

We are in the college cafeteria. It is cheap, like a lunchin for an elks lodge meeting. Wobbly tables hold up dishes with food. Maria stands on the table and does a kart-wheel. We tell her that she will break her neck. She says that her uncle built these tables and she will prove that all of them are stable. She does kart-wheels to each table, magically flying across the room to the next table. She proves us right. I grab cake and eat it. It was wonderful. It's the new kind of cake that everyone is eating.

We are now somewhere else. Becky tells me that she has something to share with me. "Something happened to me."

"What?"

"Josh and I had sex."

and...

"I'm pregnant."

"How do you know?"

"I just do. I feel it inside me."

"You just had sex and you already know?"

"Of course."

I was happy for her but something was on my mind. She was lost. Gone. I had not seen her in a long time. I wanted to find her.

"Why is your face sliding off your head?"

"I need to find Maria."

"Let's go then."

We search all over the city. In two hours we had seached every street, park and building for her. One building left. We go to the roof. She is curled into a ball crying. I ask her what is wrong.

"Alex is gone."

"What?"

"I followed him to this building. He told me it was the end. And he stepped onto the edge. He then fell forward, not giving me enough time to catch him or reason with him."

"I looked over the edge and he was gone. His body wasn't on the ground. There was no disturbance. So I searched the building and could not find him."

We left the building to search around it. We could not find his body. We went home. The tv was on. The news was proclaiming that a man named, Alex Smith, jumped from a building onto a small plane and entered the cabin. The plane then flew into a major corporation bank. People were saying that Alex was a terrorist. We all knew the truth. It was the end. People were turning onto eachother, even the homeless were defending "territory." Something like this was always chaotic. It was wonderful, yet devastating. I wanted to explode. Maria became depressed. Becky was happy. She was life holding life. Alex was life disappeared. We went to his funeral. It wasn't like the normal funerals with the sorrow and the black. This funeral was completely red. I wanted to make it blue, light blue like the sky. But they wouldn't let me. So I saw red. All of it.

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